While I didn’t quite reach my goals, I am very proud of some of things I accomplished because I set some goals. I started the 53in52 blog with my friend Justin Carlson. We didn’t end up finding ourselves reviewing 53 books this year, so in the end I failed “The Challenge” that I had “Accepted.”
While I did not find myself meeting with a mentor once a month, I did make some new mentoring relationships with various people from ministry and non ministry backgrounds – a goal that I do not regret not making because of the journey it took to fail at it.
I made a goal to get healthy. Well, I have stayed healthy, but I have not gotten that six-pack I wanted. P90x kicked my tail. So in my goal to get healthy, I failed only because I am still in the same health as I was last year.
I did not go ice fishing or hunting. Probably a good thing, but I’d still like to go. In fact, I had some really good conversation with the guys in my connect group about ice fishing and hunting – despite the fact that I was the only one who hadn’t done either. The fact is that I failed on that goal, but my interest in it has really help me connect in relationship with other guys who not only love fishing and hunting, but love God and others.
Sure…I look at the fact that I didn’t “make it” with some of my goals and see how it may look like failure. But to me, the journey is as much of the measure of success as the goal. So here’s to more Anti-Resolutions. A year older and a year (hopefully) wiser, these are the goals for this year as I approach living life for the first time in my 30’s (My 30th birthday is this month).
Here are some goals:
Continue the 1-2 book a month reading habit I’ve been in
I feel really challenged that this year is a year God will be teaching me more about the spiritual discipline of prayer. So, it’s my goal to take at least one trip to a Hermitage this year.
Choose to cheat on my work more proactively instead of cheating on my family.
What are your goals for 2011?
You don’t do goals or resolutions?
Then what are the life paths you have determined to take to reach the destinations you want or you feel God calling you towards?
Looking through my “past blog posts” I found this and it made me laugh. Ok…maybe not the whole post, but the video did. And then it hit me again…I came home over a year ago and it feels so good!
Today was Day One
ok…it was “technically” Day 3 if you count this week’s days in the office. Nonetheless, today was the first Sunday for me at Maple Grove Evangelical Free Church. Overall, I think things went as planned. I’ve been working with Matt on today’s service over the last couple of weeks and he did a great job of running the rehearsals, coordinating and communicating with the volunteers, and just overall being a workhorse! I know that and his wife are totally going to be missed.
It’s still too early to give out any type of real evaluation, but I can tell you that my guitar fell off the guitar stand in the second service at the beginning of the announcements. I’m not one who gets embarrassed easily, so it was not a real big deal for me, but when I had to put on the guitar again for the beginning of the offertory special, I didn’t think that the 3 foot drop the headstock took just might give me a reason to check the tuning on the guitar ;P
Needless to say, I had to tune on the fly, which made it a little awkward for me, but hopefully, I wasn’t too much of a distraction. I’m sure someone will bring up the guitar thing at our Worship Arts meeting this Tuesday. Maybe next time I’ll lead from the piano. But then I might fall off the chair if Murphey’s Law tends to stick around for me.
“Then there was the blur of my mom trying to wake my dad up, then frantically dialing 911, and then the paramedics and then the hospital…”
Phil circa 4yrs old
This afternoon I came home from work and my kids came running into greet me as usual. (I hope that never ends, though I know it will.)
Brennan has been on this kick where he wants me to play up in his room. Of course Emily, his little sister, wants to do whatever he does – so she tags along. So after exchanging hugs and kisses – and me making sure I put my coat in the closet so Leona doesn’t get mad – Brennan asks what he always asks when I get home,
“Daddy…come in my room and play?”
Of course I say yes! So Brennan and I run up the stairs (with Emily following behind shouting, “Me Too!”) and start playing in his room.
Eventually we go into this game I have been playing with Emily where we pretend to sleep. (I think I invented it as a way to catch some z’s while making Leona think I’m still keeping the kid’s entertained, but don’t tell!)
Basically how this game works is we both yell, “Nigh Night Time!” and we smal our heads into the pillows and pretend to snore. If you haven’t heard a 2 year old pretend to snore you are definately missing out. But that’s not the end of the game.
Then one of us yells, “Wake up time” and we all sit up as quickly as we can laughing hysterical as we do it. You have to be there to see it – it’s adorable.
Well, today I was just a little too comfortable after the 12th “Lie down, then get back up” set, so I stayed down. I’m not sure what happened to Emily, but I Brennan was the only one still playing, and so when He yelled, “Wake up!” I didn’t move.
It was then that Brennan started pushing me and emphatically saying, ‘Daddy!! Wake up!. Daaaaaddy! Waaaake uuuup!”
Now under normal circumstances this shouldn’t be anything weird, but all of a sudden a memory that I haven’t revisited came eerily back to me. As I watched my almost 4 year old pushing me and almost crying for me to wake up, I was taken back to when I was about his age.
I’m not sure the day or the time. I think it was around the time I was 4rs old. All I know was that for as long as I remember I had a memory nightmare that begun with me coming down the stairs of our duplex home in Hagerstown Maryland after just waking up. I think it was morning. I walked into the living room and half awake, I saw my father asleep on the couch. So like any son…I wanted my dad to be awake to get me breakfast.
So I said, “Daddy?!”
No response.
“Daddy?” I pushed him
No response.
Now in this nightmare I began to panic. I’m not sure why, but all I remember was that I began to shout and push louder and louder until my mom broke in through the front door and I turned to her and yelled,
“Mommy! Daddy won’t wake up!”
Then there was the blur of my mom trying to wake my dad up, then frantically dialing 911, and then the paramedics and then the hospital…
It wasn’t until I was in my teens did I find from my parents that this nightmare was a reality. I hesitate to tell this story, mostly because I was taught that the private pains of family life should stay private. I don’t know if I really believe that.
So what happened?
As I was told, my parents were having marital problems and my mom basically said she was done. This broke my dad’s heart so bad that when he found out he tried to kill himself by overdosing on pills.
When I woke up that morning, my dad was ready to die. As much as I remember from what I was told, my mother had taken my sister and I was with my father, and the only reason why my mother came in through the door that day was to get some more stuff she had left.
So why am I telling this story? Because it is a story that has made me who I am. What I’ll save for later is how – even through the darkest moments of my early childhood – God worked in my parents lives to eventually save and redeem them.
The reason I tell this story is hopefully to show that God is a God who, in the face of Chaos, is in control and has a perfect plan for each of us. It doesn’t mean that he’ll take us out of Chaos – there were still a lot more stories to be made of hardships and trials. But the constant thing was that through it all, Jesus Christ was the silver lining of hope.
Ephesians 2:12-13
Remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.
I’m sure as Joseph was approached by Pharaoh, he could have said, “Yes…I have been known to successfully interpret dreams. In fact, I’ve been doing the whole ‘dream thing’ since I was a kid.”
But he didn’t.
That’s what makes him a better man than me.
Often times I find myself taking credit for things that I can do. Take music. I have been playing music since I was 5. I went to a high school of performing arts. I graduated with a degree in music. I have a resume of professional music experience.
“I” “I” “I” “I” “I” “I”…
I sound like such a conceited fool. According to “normal” standards, I am led to believe that all the accomplishments in my life are my right to boast in. But the truth is this:
James 4:6
“ God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
Whether or not I can take credit for things accomplished in life, the greater truth is this – I screw up all the time and constantly fall short.
I need grace.
So whether I deserve it or not, giving the Lord credit for all things is sometimes always better than taking the credit myself.
I’ve probably preached on this. I’ve facilitated small groups that promote this. But tonight I was able to really participate in something I haven’t done in a looooong time. Tonight I attended a small group and I was just Phil – and I loved it!
I am excited to be involved with other men of God who desire to grow in their faith and do it in the context of community and accountability. Personally, I don’t think you can be a growing believer if you aren’t involved in community and accountability – even if you are a “pastor.”
So who are you in community and accountability with?
(seriously)
