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  • “Daddy! Scared…da birds!”

    Recently my oldest son, Brennan (2 yrs), has occasionally been coming out of his room at nap time or bedtime saying,

    “Daddy! Scared…berry scared!”

    I look up to the top of the stairs, where he’ll inevitably be standing, and I can see him trembling with lips pouting.  Like any concerned parent, I make my way up to him and ask,

    “What are you scared of?”

    To which he replies,

    “Da birds…scared-ed da birds”

    I’ll admit it.  I don’t like to see my son like that, and it even pangs me to write about it.  But I do enjoy the fact that even in this moment of concern,

    1. He calls for me
    2. He holds me tightly when I reach him
    3. I make everything better so he can go to sleep

    So in a way, I appreciate “da birds,” wherever they are.  I still haven’t seen “da birds” or even know what he may be referring to. But I’ll take any opportunity to be what only I can be for him…

    Daddy

  • Book RE_review: The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

    5dysfunctions7

    When I first read this book I was new to organizational leadership.  I didn’t realize the true implications of following or not following these principles would be.  Three organizations later I understand that the principles found in this book are more than good suggestions for helping foster teamwork.  They are rules that must be followed if an organization wants to succeed.

    Since I’ve never done an official review of this book, you could say that this is not really a RE_review.  But this is coconut island…and everything is from my perspective!  So this RE-review  is going to take a snapshot of just some of the things that stuck out to me this time through:

    • Great teams don’t hold back with one another…They are unafraid to air their dirty laundry.  They admit their mistakes, their weaknesses, and their concerns without fear of reprisal.
    • Politics is when people choose their words and actions based on how they want others to react rather than based on what they really think
    • Concerning goals: “If everything is important, then nothing is.”
    • (No one) gets completely used to conflict.  If it’s not a little uncomfortable, then it’s not real.  The key is to keep doing it anyway
    • By being even slightly connected to formal performance evaluations or compensation, 360-degree programs can take on dangerous political undertones.
    • Team leaders must create an environment that does not punish vulnerability.
    • By building trust, a team makes conflict possible because team members do not hesitate to engage in passionate and sometimes emotional debate, knowing that they will not be punished for saying something that might otherwise be interpreted as destructive or critical.
    • …teams that avoid ideological conflict often do so in order to avoid hurting  team members’ feelings, and then end up encouraging dangerous tension.
    • …it is key that leaders demonstrate restraint when their people engage in conflict, and allow resolution to occur naturally, as messy as it can sometimes be.
    • …reasonable human beings do not need to get their way in order to support a decision, but only need to know that their opinions have been heard and considered.
    • …it is better to make a decision boldly and be wrong – and then change direction with equal boldness – than it is to waffle.
    • One of the most valuable disciplines…a team should explicitly review the key decisions made during the meeting, and agree on what needs to be communicated to employees or other constituencies about those decisions.
    • …one of the best tools for ensuring commitment is the use of clear deadlines for when decisions will be made, and honoring those dates with discipline and rigidity.
    • The enemy of accountability is ambiguity…
    • Teams that are willing to commit publicly to specific results are more likely to work with a passionate, even desperate desire to achieve those results.

    Over the years I’ve learned that sacrificing conflict around ideals among team members for the sake of “harmony” is only a vain attempt at unity.  Rather, this type of behavior only promotes unhealthy amounts of tension, and the conflict, in the end, is always messier than the conflicts that should have occurred.

    In the end, the goal of effective teamwork for a leader is not to stand in front of your team and have all the answers or see your team as a group of people who carry out your goals.  Rather, a good leader invokes the honest evaluations and even opinions of those around them, understanding that the goals set by a collective effort are always better than the decisions of one person – no matter how exceptional that one person is.

  • Book RE_review: The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership

    The 21 Irrefutable Laws of LeadershipWhy a RE_review?

    WHAT IS A  RE_review?

    Simply, it’s a chance for me to put in writing my habit of proactively pursuing a life long passion of developing as a leader.  Since leaders are learners, and learners are readers, I have made it a practice of mine to always having the bible in one hand and a leadership book in the other.

    Tonight I finished my regular reading of John Maxwell’s The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.  Over the years I’ve gained so much insight from this book, but each time I read it, I am either enlightened to some principal of leadership that I must have overlooked the last time I read it, or I am encouraged in the areas I’ve succeeded as well as failed.  Because both success AND failure is the fertile ground for learning, I appreciate the times I take to stop and have moments of self evaluation based on the values and principals I’ve set for myself.

    So what tidbits of truth did I find myself uncovering or rediscovering?  Let me share a few:

    • Concerning the Leader vs the Entrepreneur: “People may be buying what he (an Entrepreneur) ha to sell, but they’re not following him.  At best, he is able to persuade people for a moment, but he holds no long-term influence with them.”  From this quote, I realized why Pastor who say discipleship is like sales always rubbed me the wrong way.
    • Champions don’t become champions in the ring – they are merely recognized there.
    • Major barriers to successful planning are fear of change, ignorance, uncertainty about the future, and lack of imagination.
    • …the deeper the relationships (with others), the stronger the potential for leadership.
    • Build enough of the right kinds of relationships with the right people, and you can become the real leader in an organization.
    • …people listen to what someone has to say not necessarily because of the truth being communicated in the message, but because of their respect for the speaker.
    • How do people react when you communicate?  When you speak, do people listen – I mean really listen? Or do they wait to hear what someone else has to say before they act?
    • Truth is the foundation of leadership.  To build trust, a leader must exemplify these qualities: competence, connection, and character.
    • If people don’t know what to expect from you as a leader, at some point they won’t look to you for leadership.
    • …who you get (to follow you) is not determined by what you want. It’s determined by who you are.
    • (the quality of leaders around you) does not ultimately depend on a hiring process, a human resource department, or even what you consider to be the quality of your area’s applicant pool.  It depends on you.  Who you are is who you attract.
    • Effective leaders know that you first have to touch people’s hearts before you ask them for a hand.
    • You don’t get credit for being “right.” Your success is measured by your ability to actually take the people where they need to go.
    • Great leaders recognize that when to lead is as important as what to do and where to go.
    • Reading a situation and knowing what to do are not enough to make you succeed in leadership.  Only the right action at the right time will bring success.  Anything else exacts a high price.
    • Success in not measured by what you are leaving to, but by what you are leaving behind.
    • You will be judged by how well your people and your organization did after you were gone.

    Good stuff =)

    Now it’s time to rip myself apart and be honest with where I need more growth.

  • Book Review: The American Patriot’s Almanac

    When I received my first book as Thomas Nelson book review blogger, I was excited. What I received in the mail was The American Patriot’s Almanac: Daily Readings on America.

    The first thing I noticed was that this book was really well made. It has a sturdy Red cloth binding and the artwork on the front was embossed. I thought to myself, “This would make an amazing coffee table book!”

    As a person who loves American history (mostly in part because my Filipino heritage is steeped in American patriotism, dating back to my ancestors who fought in World War II) I was looking forward to opening this book. Once I began reading I saw that this was more than just a conversational piece of a lavish version of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader.

    The introduction alone will leave you feeling a sense of Patriotism that drove our forefathers to their resolves to make America the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.” Now I know that these are probably biased feelings, so let me just give you a few reasons who I actually like this book (which I don’t have to say. Read this if you don’t believe me)

    • You say “I don’t like reading!” That’s ok. This is sectioned out so you have a simple one page per day reading. It’s like a daily devotional for the history buff.
    • Even though the book is published by a company that publishes many “Christian” titles, this does not skew itself in that way. Any reference to Christianity is simply because it is a reference to the faith of our founding fathers. This makes it a great gift for anyone.
    • For the History buff, this thing is packed with unabridged documents like the Constitution, Bill of Rights, and Emancipation Proclamation.

    Did I mention the cool red cloth binding with gold letters? Go ahead and pick this one up for you or a history buff friend. Thank me later.

  • Book Review: Holy Discontent

    A couple of weeks ago, this book was placed in my hand. It’s Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels. Here are a couple of phrases that caught my attention and have sparked an inward paradigm shift in regards to how I view and handle “Personal Vision”

    “The best thing that you can do is to move toward your area of holy discontent until you have clear direction from God as to what action you should take to resolve it.”

    “If you want to be a force for good, then, like David, you’ve got to choose to take action in the area of passion God has placed inside your heart.”

    “Determine now that you will never insulate yourself from what wrecks you.”

    “…anything worth pursuing ins going to require great risk…are you risking enough for your holy discontent?”

    “In the fundamental state…people care so much about getting results that they begin to move and breathe in a totally different realm. They operate with intentionality…They open themselves up to any and all new ideas and forms of input – regardless where those suggestions come from…”

    “The only thing crazier than the destination itself is how much you enjoy it once you’ve arrived.”

    The book is only 149 pages long. I read it in two nights where I decided I’d take a break from watching TV once my son was in bed and devote it to a cultivation of my mind. I totally recommend it to everyone who is in need of a challenge in the area of spiritual apathy that causes lifeless, unpassionate Christ following.