PHILLIPSANTILLAN.COM

Category: converstaions

  • The Stories of my Life: The Day I Got Kneed Below the Belt

    bul·ly/ˈbo͝olē/

    1. A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
    2. Corned beef.

    My roommates in college thought it was absolutely disgusting that I would eat “meat form a can.”  Yes…I was that guy who would each corned beef straight out of the can.  I also had my own rice cooker too and I’d mix the corned beef in it and…ok…you don’t want to hear that.

    This isn’t about corned beef.  This is about my life as an elementary school kid.

    Here’s a reality – being different makes you special, but being different sometimes makes you a target.  And  I was different.  (For those of you who always get tired of hearing minorities talk about how life for a minority is different, you should probably stop reading now.) I don’t really want to go into too much about how I was bullied, but it is not a secret that it is the worst feeling in the world.

    I am not sure why I was targeted.  I have some assumptions – but none I could really prove.

    It could have done with my faith.  Even as an elementary school child I was proud to be a follower of Christ, bringing my bible to school and praying before I ate my lunch.  

    It could have been the fact that I was a really small kid. ok…maybe small isn’t the word.  I think the word my mom used to describe me was “husky.” 

    Here’s what I do remember.  It was 5th grade.  I don’t even really remember exactly “how” it happened, but all I remember was getting kneed in the crotch and falling to the ground with everyone laughing at me.  It was horrifying.  The “toughest” kid in the class was the one who did it.  (It’s funny writing that, knowing how small a 5th grader is from an adult perspective)

    What caught me off guard the most is what happened next.  In a flurry of events, I found myself in the principles office sitting next to (let’s call him “Joe”) and having the principal drilling me on what I did to provoke “Joe”.  I said, “Nothing”

    And when the principal drilled “Joe” on why he did what he did, he said, “I just felt like it.”  And then the most surprising thing happened.  Right in front of me, the principal began to lecture “Joe” about his choices, and his “already run in’s with the law.”  The principal began to tell him that he was going to expel him and that he was never going to amount to anything unless he changed his behavior.

    “Joe” just sat there. Me?  I was crying like a baby.   I was scared.  I wasn’t sure if “Joe” was going to beat me up after school.  I wasn’t sure if my parents were going to get mad at me being in the office AGAIN! (I’m not going to go there…it’s for another post)

    What’s the point?  I’m not sure.  I just know that it’s one of the few memories I have of my childhood that I vividly remember. And here’s what I took away from that event.

    1. Being bullied is horrifying
    1. Being bullied is horrifying
    2. While I was angry and confused by “Joe’s” actions, there was a point in the principles office I began to feel compassion towards him. 

    After that event, I was never bullied by “Joe.”  I was bullied by another couple of guys in P.E. every day, but that’s for another day.  It’s a really fun story though…one I know I will be telling my son! (Hint…I got to kick a bully where the sun don’t shine)

    Back to what I was going to say…

    The point is that as I look back at my childhood (the little I do remember) I am surprised that I didn’t take the route that many seem to have taken with their life’s experiences.  If you’re not following me, let me make it plain.

    I have never let the moments of my life define me.  Instead, I have let them shape me into the person I know God wants me to be.

    John 16:33 (NIV)“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

  • How to make social media part of your life, not become your life

    There are a lot of people who misunderstand the amount of time it takes to engage in social media.  It is true, that engaging in social media can overcome your life.  But this is true only if social media is part of the “entertainment” of your life.

    There are are probably two types of people who are reading this blog.  Ok, maybe three, but basically there are three types of people who make social media part of their world.  I’ll categorize them as this:

    1. The Consumer: People who read this, follow me on facebook, or follow my tweets are basically doing so because they simply just get a kick out of viewing this information.  They will most likely never comment on any blog post I make.  They won’t leave a note on my wall.  They won’t engage in any dialogue via twitter.  If anything, they occasionally hit that “like” button on facebook.  Their primary use of social media is to see if it’s interesting and to see if it will be interesting long term.
    2. The Promoter: These are the type of people who run into either my blog or twitter because they were searching for a way to make “network connections” or they found me on facebook because we had mutual friends.  These are the people who are less likely to ever read more than the initial blog post or tweet they first were introduced to me by, and for sure will never interact with me on facebook.  The Promoter’s main goal is to tell you what they are up to and how you can get connected to their life.  These usually are singer/songwriters who want you to come to their show, Multi-Level Marketers looking for ways to help you “make money while doing less” (you won’t), or people who want to tell you they just got a new chicken in farmville(yes, there is a guidebook for that game!).
    3. The Philanthropist:  These are people who – even before social media – loved people and approached initiated relationships with an interpersonal mindset.  In other words, these are people who love people.  Even more so, they love to not only share life with others, but also love to learn about life from others.  They not only see that their life experience is something worth sharing, but also believe that gaining knowledge about other people made their life better.  These are the people that move beyond “liking” your posts or just retweeting (RT) everything you tweet.  These are the people who utilize social networking as the way to “stoke the fire” of a healthy relationship already established, or one in the making.

    The honest truth is that you can be all three depending on who you are connecting with.  While I don’t have as many “facebook friends” as I know some have, or “twitter followers” as others – the reality is that there are people I am connected to via social networking that are to me just consumers or promoters.  And vice versa is true.

    Funny thing is that I’ll often go through facebook or twitter and “unfriend” people who I’ve never had an online or personal interaction with.  Then a few months later, this person will send a friend request again.  So to one person I am just a promoter, while at the same time to me they are the consumer.

    But the best usage of social media (and the main reason I utilize it) is to connect interpersonally with people.  In the best case scenario, engaging in social media isn’t a new form of entertainment.  It is a tool for making the connections to want to make with people because….well…you love people!

    What say you?  How do you feel social networking helps or hurts the relationships you make/cultivate?

    Or are you just in it because, in another life, could be stalker and social media helps you do it….legally? 😉

  • Hope in a brown paper bag

    Today my senior pastor taught a message entitled “Hope in a Brown Paper Bag.”  This post isn’t about his message

    It’s about how I experienced it this morning.

    I’ll be honest…I never expected that today would be the day God would teach me that hope comes in packages that you don’t expect.  What happened? In short, it was one of those morning where it didn’t feel like all the my plans were coming together.

    But then it happened…

    God moved.

    I know that hope deserves a nice package, but it doesn’t require it.

    I’m thankful God reminded me that he is still in control.

  • Conversations//What if…

    What if I could have a vocation that both paid my bills and allowed me to minister as a part of a local fellowship of believers?

    Would I still be compelled to live vocationally as a pastor?

    This was an interesting question that came up in a conversation I had in my living room with a new found friend.  Of course there’s a story line that isn’t being told which lead to this, but the story that follows is the story I am writing.  It is a story of questions that I haven’t asked before, but are questions that aren’t new to me.  Questions like:

    What if Christians celebrated someone going into a “secular” vocation as much as they did a “ministry” vocation?

    What if the goal of pastors was less about recruiting people for ministry within the church, but about empowering people for ministry within their spheres of influence?

    It’s funny the questions you ask yourself in life. Just a short trip into my personal journals finds me amused for hours.  (yes…I do keep a journal, and it isn’t my blog.)  Some of those questions I asked seem trivial and trite, but in retrospect, the very fact I was asking those questions led me to journey for answers.

    And journey I have…

    And journey I continue…

  • Conversations//The Bible

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    As I continue in my journey of understanding the bible, my studies in the Old Testament leaves me asking some really important questions – questions that I hope that you who are reading this would join me in conversation.  For instance, Isaiah 56:6-8 says

    6 “I will also bless the foreigners who commit themselves to the Lord ,
    who serve him and love his name,
    who worship him and do not desecrate the Sabbath day of rest,
    and who hold fast to my covenant.
    7 I will bring them to my holy mountain of Jerusalem
    and will fill them with joy in my house of prayer.
    I will accept their burnt offerings and sacrifices,
    because my Temple will be called a house of prayer for all nations.
    8 For the Sovereign Lord ,
    who brings back the outcasts of Israel, says:
    I will bring others, too,
    besides my people Israel.”

    When I came across this I began to ask, “Why did all the pharisees and other experts in the law not understand that God’s grace extended outside of just the “chosen people of Israel?” From what I’ve gathered about the experts of the law was that in many cases, there were just some thing in scripture that:

    a. They chose to ignore

    b. Because of their unregenerate hearts could not or would not see

    Then this made me ask the real important question…

    Are there truths and standards from God’s word that I’m just not getting?