No more ignoring emails and phone calls (as much as I could…)
No more sleeping in
No more passing Amish cyclists on the left
It’s been a great week with family, and even a better week recharging my batteries. I’ve been able to pray and play a little more, and I got to catch up on some reading that has been way overdue.
If it’s true what they say – that every moment in life is a moment of learning – then what was it that I had learned this week? Here are just a few things:
My wife loves where she came from though she would probably never choose to live in a small town.
My children love me so much more than I know
Being genuinely interested in others is so much more fun than trying to be interesting to others
Nothing is better than sweet corn that just was picked from its stalk
Tons of memories were made this week, and as much as I hate to admit that the end is near, I am excited to see what more memories “life in real time” will bring!
Our trip had a lot of memorable moments so far. Most of them being centered around the phrase, “I have to use the bathroom.” I guess that’s what happens when you travel with 6 kids. Ok…I’ll be honest, it was MY kids with the weak bladders.
On the way to Indiana, my kids were introduced to a classic Chicago icon.
Most of our day was just driving. The fun part was the next morning!
So the reason behind the whole coordination of bringing all the kids and grandkids together was to surprise grandpa for his 60th birthday which is this week. So after cramming 13 kids into great-grandma Law’s two bedroom home, we woke up and headed off to Cracker barrel to hopefully beat the unsuspecting grandparents of the impromptu family reunion.
And here is the classic group shot with kids and their silly faces!
Today we had fun in Wakarusa’s play park and splash pad. Here are a few pics
(Very cool, old building by the park. I know, most of these are of Brennan. That’s because he’s the only one I could get to stand still long enough for me to snap a good pic with my phone.)
This weekend we embark on both an overdue vacation, and what I predict will be a great adventure. It should be a great time and I want to take you with us!
So follow along and see what it’s like to hang with the Amish through corn fields and 2-lane country roads.
“Then there was the blur of my mom trying to wake my dad up, then frantically dialing 911, and then the paramedics and then the hospital…”
Phil circa 4yrs old
This afternoon I came home from work and my kids came running into greet me as usual. (I hope that never ends, though I know it will.)
Brennan has been on this kick where he wants me to play up in his room. Of course Emily, his little sister, wants to do whatever he does – so she tags along. So after exchanging hugs and kisses – and me making sure I put my coat in the closet so Leona doesn’t get mad – Brennan asks what he always asks when I get home,
“Daddy…come in my room and play?”
Of course I say yes! So Brennan and I run up the stairs (with Emily following behind shouting, “Me Too!”) and start playing in his room.
Eventually we go into this game I have been playing with Emily where we pretend to sleep. (I think I invented it as a way to catch some z’s while making Leona think I’m still keeping the kid’s entertained, but don’t tell!)
Basically how this game works is we both yell, “Nigh Night Time!” and we smal our heads into the pillows and pretend to snore. If you haven’t heard a 2 year old pretend to snore you are definately missing out. But that’s not the end of the game.
Then one of us yells, “Wake up time” and we all sit up as quickly as we can laughing hysterical as we do it. You have to be there to see it – it’s adorable.
Well, today I was just a little too comfortable after the 12th “Lie down, then get back up” set, so I stayed down. I’m not sure what happened to Emily, but I Brennan was the only one still playing, and so when He yelled, “Wake up!” I didn’t move.
It was then that Brennan started pushing me and emphatically saying, ‘Daddy!! Wake up!. Daaaaaddy! Waaaake uuuup!”
Now under normal circumstances this shouldn’t be anything weird, but all of a sudden a memory that I haven’t revisited came eerily back to me. As I watched my almost 4 year old pushing me and almost crying for me to wake up, I was taken back to when I was about his age.
I’m not sure the day or the time. I think it was around the time I was 4rs old. All I know was that for as long as I remember I had a memory nightmare that begun with me coming down the stairs of our duplex home in Hagerstown Maryland after just waking up. I think it was morning. I walked into the living room and half awake, I saw my father asleep on the couch. So like any son…I wanted my dad to be awake to get me breakfast.
So I said, “Daddy?!”
No response.
“Daddy?” I pushed him
No response.
Now in this nightmare I began to panic. I’m not sure why, but all I remember was that I began to shout and push louder and louder until my mom broke in through the front door and I turned to her and yelled,
“Mommy! Daddy won’t wake up!”
Then there was the blur of my mom trying to wake my dad up, then frantically dialing 911, and then the paramedics and then the hospital…
It wasn’t until I was in my teens did I find from my parents that this nightmare was a reality. I hesitate to tell this story, mostly because I was taught that the private pains of family life should stay private. I don’t know if I really believe that.
So what happened?
As I was told, my parents were having marital problems and my mom basically said she was done. This broke my dad’s heart so bad that when he found out he tried to kill himself by overdosing on pills.
When I woke up that morning, my dad was ready to die. As much as I remember from what I was told, my mother had taken my sister and I was with my father, and the only reason why my mother came in through the door that day was to get some more stuff she had left.
So why am I telling this story? Because it is a story that has made me who I am. What I’ll save for later is how – even through the darkest moments of my early childhood – God worked in my parents lives to eventually save and redeem them.
The reason I tell this story is hopefully to show that God is a God who, in the face of Chaos, is in control and has a perfect plan for each of us. It doesn’t mean that he’ll take us out of Chaos – there were still a lot more stories to be made of hardships and trials. But the constant thing was that through it all, Jesus Christ was the silver lining of hope.
Ephesians 2:12-13
Remember that at that time you were separate from Christ, excluded from citizenship in Israel and foreigners to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.
Yesterday I officially became a family man. While it’s not as cool The Griswold’s station wagon, it does have a luggage roof rack! Yes…
We bought a minivan.
After the birth of our second child, it became very apparent to us that sooner or later we were going to need more than a Mazda Protege to haul our kids around. So after much saving and strategic planning, we found ourselves in the position to buy a minivan – with cash!
Dave Ramsey says that paying with cash as opposed to paying with credit or financing actually causes pain. He is totally right. When we drove away in our minivan, I literally felt pain. It was the most money I have ever spent at one time.
But the price we paid with all the purposeful planning that was put into it made what was “painful” to do, a rewarding thing as well. Why?
I could give you all the financial reasons why it’s better to buy with cash than with financing or credit. Not because I am a financial guru, but because my personal experience with credit proves that I am an expert on the negatives. I KNOW how NOT to manage your money.
Back to what I was saying…what we did and how we did it (purchasing a minivan) was extremely rewarding because I came to an epiphany on the way home. And what was that?
Maturity hurts.
Why? Because we are, by nature, beings that love familiarity. We love keeping things the way they are. We don’t like to have our boats rocked. Growing up means rocking the boat. It means confronting the lies which tell us we are ok and realizing that we need to grow.
In college, I was very EXTREMELY immature. (I know…my wife would banter back, “WAS?”) I honestly didn’t see it…or at least I was unwilling to recognize it and admit it. That was until one day, a professor of mine who I had built a good relationship with pulled me into their office. This professor was leaving and it was their last day at the university I was attending. So I could tell that what this person was pulling me into their office to tell me was important. So what happened?
My professor placed me in front of the mirror and said,
“Phillip. I want you to look at yourself and say, ‘I am immature.’ ”
At first, I was, “You’re crazy!” but I complied and said it. Then my professor again said with even more resolve, “No…I really want you to look at yourself and say ‘I am immature’ “.
I got it. And it hurt.
I wish I could say that I totally became the most mature person in the world – but I was far from that…still am. But I am grateful for all the people who cared about me and confronted me on my “areas of improvement” as well as the many life situations which have stretched me into becoming the man I am today. After all, no one I personally know and admire has become what they are by being a Toys-R-Us kid!
So bring on the pain! (I just wished I could have gotten wood paneling!)
Recently my oldest son, Brennan (2 yrs), has occasionally been coming out of his room at nap time or bedtime saying,
“Daddy! Scared…berry scared!”
I look up to the top of the stairs, where he’ll inevitably be standing, and I can see him trembling with lips pouting. Like any concerned parent, I make my way up to him and ask,
“What are you scared of?”
To which he replies,
“Da birds…scared-ed da birds”
I’ll admit it. I don’t like to see my son like that, and it even pangs me to write about it. But I do enjoy the fact that even in this moment of concern,
He calls for me
He holds me tightly when I reach him
I make everything better so he can go to sleep
So in a way, I appreciate “da birds,” wherever they are. I still haven’t seen “da birds” or even know what he may be referring to. But I’ll take any opportunity to be what only I can be for him…
